Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Comedy12 SeasonsTV14
Jon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, Ashton Kutcher
Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie.
  • Back Off Mary Poppins
    Back Off Mary Poppins
    Episode 121 mins
    Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.
  • Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
    Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
    Episode 221 mins
    Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician (Ryan Stiles), and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.
  • A Bag Full of Jawea
    A Bag Full of Jawea
    Episode 320 mins
    Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher, but the results are unfortunate.
  • Go Get Mommy's Bra
    Go Get Mommy's Bra
    Episode 421 mins
    Charlie's mother, Evelyn, asks to borrow his Mercedes so she can impress a Saudi prince who she wants to buy real estate.
  • Bad News From the Clinic
    Bad News From the Clinic
    Episode 521 mins
    Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who is better at playing hard to get than he is.
  • The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
    The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
    Episode 621 mins
    Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.
  • A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
    A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
    Episode 721 mins
    Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister (Camryn Manheim) to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her.
  • Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
    Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
    Episode 821 mins
    Alan gets a taste of what Charlie's sex life is like when he meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.
  • Yes, Monsignor
    Yes, Monsignor
    Episode 922 mins
    Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right (Denise Richards) and is pleased to learn her marriage did not work out.
  • The Salmon Under My Sweater
    The Salmon Under My Sweater
    Episode 1021 mins
    Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics; things heat up between Alan and Rose.
  • Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
    Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
    Episode 1121 mins
    Jake discovers an angry Web site devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.
  • A Lungful of Alan
    A Lungful of Alan
    Episode 1221 mins
    Alan's homely high-school friend (Paget Brewster) returns as a beautiful woman, and the brothers quickly begin competing for her attentions.
  • Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
    Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
    Episode 1321 mins
    When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
  • Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts
    Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts
    Episode 1421 mins
    Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.
  • Smell the Umbrella Stand
    Smell the Umbrella Stand
    Episode 1521 mins
    Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.
  • Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
    Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
    Episode 1621 mins
    Judith leaves Jake with Alan and Charlie while she spends a week in Hawaii, and the guys find that caring for Jake on a daily basis is much different from weekend visits.
  • Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
    Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
    Episode 1721 mins
    Charlie eschews Alan's medical advice in favor of a visit to his pretty female doctor after he injures his back during sex.
  • It Was Mame, Mom
    It Was Mame, Mom
    Episode 1821 mins
    When a gay ad executive invites Charlie to a cocktail party, Charlie makes Alan go with him, as his gay partner.
  • A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
    A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
    Episode 1921 mins
    Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends (Jeri Ryan) on a date, but while they are out he is tormented by thoughts of her with Charlie.
  • I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
    I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
    Episode 2021 mins
    When Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other, Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings.
  • A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
    A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
    Episode 2121 mins
    When Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died, she attends the funeral with Alan, then is furious to learn that Alan had kept in touch with Harry after the divorce.
  • That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
    That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
    Episode 2221 mins
    After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her, her new romantic interest and his daughter.
  • Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
    Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
    Episode 2320 mins
    Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn for a sleepover visit until he finds himself partying with Charlie and a busload of beautiful female volleyball players.
  • Does This Smell Funny to You?
    Does This Smell Funny to You?
    Episode 2420 mins
    Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.

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